Bad MLS Photos

Most expensive bank-owned home in Phoenix

It's located at the Biltmore Estates golf course. Got a cool $7 million? All 18,000 square feet of this mansion can be yours. It's only the market for 6 months, too, which in the land of luxury real estate is about 1/10th of a second.

Last December (was that a mere 10months ago?) it was listed for $12,500,000. Talk about market decline! That's a drop of nearly 1/2 in 10months.

Here's some pictures of the compound...

Her closet

His closet. And, his library ... Clearly, the man who owns this home is A Very Serious Man who makes a lot of Very Serious Money.

The wine cellar (frankly, the way the photographer shot it, it looks more like an M.C. Escher drawing to me)

2 washers and 2 dryers. Because everyone knows the Very Wealthy have Very Dirty Clothes.

Apparently, the sheer weight of the former owners' wealth bent the space-time continuum in the ceiling of the master bedroom.... I'm a little dizzy looking at it.

Enjoyed these photos? See more foreclosed homes of the formerly Super Wealthy, elsewhere on our blog. And if you're actually shopping for a home in this exclusive price range, don't hesitate to call me. I actually do have regular experience helping buyers in the luxury markets in metro Phoenix, Arizona. I promise to keep my mild snarking to myself when we're home shopping.

More Bad MLS Photos

This text:

OWNER HAS TWO DOG! MUST ARRANGE WITH OWNER WHEN SHOW. OWNER DID A OUTSTANDING JOB ON THE REMODELING. KITCHEN REMODELED WITH GRANITE COUNTER TOPS, STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES AND CUSTOM MAPLE CABINETS. BOTH BATHS HAVE BEEN UPGRADED AND REMODELED. THE WHOLE HOUSE HAS BEEN REPLUMBED WITH COPPER PLUMBING AND UPGRADED 1/4' DUAL PANE WINDOWS. THERE ARE BLOCK-OUT WINDOW BLINDS IN THE BEDROOM. NORTH/SOUTH EXSPOSER. LARGER IRRIGATED LOT WITH SPARKLING RESUFACED POOL WITH ORANGE TREES AND POSTINOS. BACKYARD IS GREAT WITH PLENTY OF ROOM WITH CHILDREN'S PLAY AREA AND LARGE COVERED PATIO.



is accompanied by this photo (and only this photo):


The owner may have done an outstanding job remodeling, but the Realtor didn't do such an outstanding job photographing. In this age of digital cameras barely larger than a credit card, this is just unacceptable.


By the way, only certain Phoenicians would know that "postinos" isn't an architectural feature. It's a local wine bar. Don't even get me started on the awkward sentence construction. Was the pool resurfaced with  plaster or with actual orange trees?


I'm shaking my head, and heading off to the next meeting of the Professional Organization of English Majors. (Fans of Garrison Keillors weekly radio show and it's fake commercials will get that reference; others can see here but I warn you that old GK has a distinctly Midwestern sense of humor.)

Yet Another Bad MLS Photo


Granted, it's a bank owned property. Goodness knows the listing agents who work for the banks are swamped with inventory and don't have a lot of time on their hands. Often they don't have access to the inside of the home until days after the photograph's been taken.


But for the love of sinkholes people! Straighten your photos. Picasa is free to download and makes it a 5 second job.